She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
