I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You ate ashes out of my bong
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
