her vagine was all disorganized.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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