somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
