Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
