HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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