9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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