last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
