omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
