we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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