i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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