All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
