erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
