no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
