I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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