we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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