I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
