just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
