I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
