You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
