He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
