I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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