you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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