Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
