So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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