the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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