she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
