im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
