The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
