Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
