Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
