Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
