shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
