it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
