wanna go halves on a baby?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
