I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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