love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
