I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
