Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize