can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
