I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
