this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize