so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
