I think I am morally bankrupt
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize