I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
