Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
