So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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