Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
