Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
