Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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