this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
