she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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