Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
