im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
