I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
