i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
