Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
