Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
