i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
two words: eviction party
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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