You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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