I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
