He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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