I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
