Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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