Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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