Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize