You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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